When 16 degrees feels like 3 degrees; it is cold. Now, there's a rhetorical statement. So is talking about the weather, as the kids say: "duuuuh!". Lately, though, the word 'chill', 'cold' or "cool" have been oft-used descriptives from me. Cool receptions, from people; chill, vague replies on inquiries; and being 'left out in the cold' on work issues. I suppose it's why I haven't been writing much this New Year; I was a little 'frosted'. I have since thawed and am looking past the chill, into the warmth.
My partner, Frank, frequently makes the statement: "Why don't we move to Hawaii - we could live on the beach!" As fanciful and idyllic; and warm, I might add; as that sounds, it's somewhat less than practical - I don't know if I'm cut out to be a beach comer. He seems to say it though, when times are hard or people and situations are frustrating - a simple, magical solution. Too bad life isn't that simple or magical!
In the here and now, I'm warming up to other possibilities. I threw my hat into the seemingly precarious ring of publishing; I will leave it there, while looking into other arenas. I can't be idle, waiting for decisions, it makes me too crazy. So, last year, I'd set up a schedule of tasks for business; of which I have not kept up with very well. I found it too ridgid - 'do this on this day of the week'. For example, when there's work to be done, there's no time for blogging. Work trumps everything on that schedule. But being present and keeping a blog up has become part of the game. This year, the schedule must be more flexible and comfortable. I like comfort - sometimes it's hard to come by. If there's no entry on a certain day, my comfort is that there is a post for the week. I admire the guys who do it every day, though I don't know how they do it.
All that said, ironically, this is my previously scheduled day for blogging... I've made a note of that.
I'm warming up to a schedule, or 'flex-ule', I can carve out time for life. I have missed so many little things, events, obsessing over making a living. Sigh. I can't beat myself up over the past, or not doing something on an certain day (other than keeping a due date, that's non-negotiable - some things are). A 'flex-ule' is one of the 'cool' things I need - to 'chill out'.
Making my life as an artist easier on myself, is the goal. It is a lot of work, but there's a better attitude. The market and the economy had taken a toll. It's still wonky, but I can't change that. I can change what happens with me, how I handle things in terms of working. I've done it before, I can do it again.
Though Hawaii sounds warm and inviting, what I do now, is far better than hunting for, then selling seashells by the seashore.
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